Shelia – Love Changes Things

on Sep 16 in Homelessness, Love In Action by lampso

From the hundreds of people that met Shelia over my last two summers at Safehouse Outreach to those who have only learned her name through a facebook or twitter post, so many of you have been on this ride with us. Before I begin this blog I would first like to say thank you to all of you from the bottom of my heart. Words will never describe my gratefulness…. Now to the blog. (sorry for the length)

Two years ago I was leading a team of students on a project called Homeless for a Day when I bumped into a middle aged, frail, homeless lady who asked me and my group for money. I do not make it my practice to just hand out money on the street so I tried to quickly dismiss the lady and told her we didn’t have any money.

She began to share with us a little of her story. She told us that she was living in the abandoned building across the way and that she needed money for her medication. She then explained that she had several medical issues. It was then that someone from the group asked Shelia if we could pray for her.

Once Shelia realized we were people of faith, she began to share about her faith and her testimony of how she had survived near death experiences. She explained that three times she woke up in the abandoned building with different medical conditions that she could have died from and all three times she survived with a best-case scenario.

I then asked her why she lived in the abandon building. She responded with, “You mean the abandominum?” She continued by explaining to us that she ended up in the building because of her choices. Not that she chose to live there, but as a result of her choices she lived there. She then explained that she had an addiction to drugs and that she had allowed her choice for drugs to lead her so far down that she now lived in the abandominum.

Shelia’s story was so strong and the way she spoke had such an affect on me that it changed my life forever.

Several weeks later I was walking by the abandominum with a group and bumped into Shelia again. I asked if she would share what she had shared the last time we met. She agreed and began to share with my group her story, her discourse on choices, and the conditions of the abandoned building.

This continued for the next two years. Every time I would go near the building I would look for Sheila. If she was not there I would ask around for her. When we connected she would share with my groups. Hundreds of people got to hear her story and embrace her with hugs and prayers.

Each time she finished sharing I would spend a few extra minutes with Shelia away from the group to make sure she was doing ok. She would always reassure me and say she was fine.

It was near the end of my second summer with Safehouse Outreach when a photographer friend asked if we could go in the abandoned building. I told him I would check with Shelia to see what she thought about that becoming a possibility. I had been in the building once before and did not want to go back without an invite. Shelia agreed to take us in and show us around. She then asked for something she had never asked for before… Help.

She said, “I will do this for you Drew, if you do something for me.” I said, “What?” She continued, “I want your help getting into a recovery program.”

Wow! I could not believe that Shelia was asking me for help.

I then reassured Shelia that I would figure out something. I told her that when we came to take the pictures that I would have a plan to help her.

Nathan, who was interning with me at the time, made several calls and found a rehab in Tennessee that would take Shelia with no income. The only problem was there was a waiting list of four to six weeks to get in. As a result, we had to find somewhere for Shelia to go until her bed opened up in TN. Additionally, Shelia had to complete a week of detox before she would be able to attend the rehab.

I shared this with Shelia and we made arrangements to go to the hospital the next day at 12:00 to check her in to detox. Unfortunately I had an appointment that ran late that day and did not make it to Shelia until about 1:00. Pastor Errol from Safehouse and Nathan went with me to get her. When we got there I began to call out for Shelia. Finally she came to the window of the abandoned building and shouted, “Drew, I’m here… I didn’t think you were coming.”

Because we were running later than expected Shelia had given up hope and had gone back into the building and was using aggressively. Shelia then climbed down and got in the car with me and the guys. We started driving around the block talking about what was going to happen. Shelia did not want to go to detox. She did not want to give up her addiction. She gave us every excuse in the book as to why she couldn’t go right then.

Finally, I looked Shelia in the eyes and said, “What is stopping you from going to rehab with us right now?” Shelia froze and said, “I hear you. Let’s go get my stuff.”

We drove back to the building and Sheila went inside to get her things. It was pretty funny seeing her throw down her clothes in stuffed trash bags out the window of this abandominum. One bag landed and splattered all over the place. Once we were loaded up we took off for the hospital.

When we go to the hospital, Shelia was crashing hard from all the drugs she had taken. The triage nurse took Shelia’s blood pressure measurement and realized that her BP was 70/40. Shelia was on the verge of death and in immediate need of fluids.

The next day I heard from Shelia and she told me the severity of her condition. She said, “I had one foot on a banana peel the other on the grave. One more slip and I would have been out of this world.” She told me that the doctor believed she was going to be fine after a few days of fluids and monitoring.

In the meantime I was trying to figure out where Shelia could go once she came out of the hospital. We still had three weeks before her bed would be open. I shared the need with my father Marty Benton. He and his Sunday school class at First Baptist Church Woodstock stepped up to help with an unbelievable gesture of love. They paid for Shelia to stay in Woodstock at an Extended Stay motel until her bed opened up at the rehab. Additionally, they provided a new wardrobe and a cell phone.

For the next two weeks Shelia hung out in Woodstock. People from FBCW, my father, and myself went to check on her regularly. She attended AA or NA meetings each night and helped out at the clothes closet at FBCW from time to time.

Finally, we got the call from the rehab that her bed had come available. Thanks to John Chapman at Love Thy Neighbor, we had her bus ticket and everything was in order.

The morning of Shelia’s departure came and we drove downtown together to the Greyhound station. I had several meetings this day and decided to get Shelia checked in and then go to my meetings. I left Shelia around 3:00 with her bus leaving at 6:30.

That whole evening and well into the next day I did not hear from Shelia. I tried her on her cell several times and heard nothing. Late in the afternoon my cell rang. It was Shelia. She was acting weird on the phone and would not answer a direct question about where she had been. Of course in my heart I knew the answer.

I immediately got in my car and drove to Atlanta to meet up with her. By the time I got there she was back at the Greyhound station. She had gotten her ticket changed so she could leave later that night. We called the rehab to make sure she could still come in a day later and they agreed. Shelia still refused to answer a direct question to the point that we both got upset with each other and I left the station.

A short time later I got a call from Shelia. She said, “I don’t want to talk. I just need you to listen.” She then explained how she went to Five Points after I left her and bought drugs. She went on to share how she took her drugs to the abandoned building and used all night. Then she hung up.

The next day when I woke I checked my voicemail. I had several messages from Shelia from her overnight travel. She had arrived in Memphis and was being admitted into rehab. I tried calling her back that day, but could not speak to her because she had to go through detox all over again and was not allowed to have phone calls during that time.

On Monday of this week Shelia gave me a call. We talked for several minutes and I found out she is doing great. She is attending meetings regularly and in her words, “learning how to live again.” She told me she has gained twenty pounds since she has been there. She is on her road to recovery.

This process has been one the most difficult things I have ever been apart of. There have been more lessons I have learned from this experience than I can put into words. Here are just a few short takeaways I wanted to share:

1. Never give up on someone – Shelia has been addicted for 25 years. She has been living homeless for the last 3. Nobody is outside the reach of love.

2. Addiction is one of the most powerful forces man knows – Shelia had all the arrangements made and all she had to do is get on the bus. Her addiction took her back into the building. However, love is stronger.

3. I have so many people in my life that love me – Through this process I learned that there are so many people that love me and have my back in life. From all my facebook and twitter love to the very tangible things people did to help Shelia and myself.

4. The power of living love can change things – By me showing up and loving Shelia unconditionally, her life is forever changed. Even if it is one life at a time… Love changes things.

So, where does the Shelia story go from here? Stay tuned… It is guaranteed to be a wild ride. I love you all and hope these words will inspire you to continue to live love.